Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
FUCK WHALES
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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