this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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