I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Randomize
