they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
