3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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