i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
