I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
