NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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