and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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