we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
