i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
