i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
