i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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