OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
