I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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