I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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