i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
