I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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