Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
