it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
