Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
