So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
