she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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