real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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