Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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