TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
