is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
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I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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