Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The power of my boobs compel you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
