Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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