Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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