I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
