East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My dick has a subreddit
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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