no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize