Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we're making bets on your personal life
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
