all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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