In America we eat man semen.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
