how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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