the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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