you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
