You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
