When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize