he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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