There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
