Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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