YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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