Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Let's paint friendship bongs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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