is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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