ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
