Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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