The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
