I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
