as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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