took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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