we're blogging at a bar
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
