My room smells like vodka and shame
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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