I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
