My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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