After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
