So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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