ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
